Kusum Shukla, my mother, was a highly intelligent, talented and multi-faceted lady. She had her own identity which was separate from the roles she played even though they were all interwoven in the fabric of her life.

Kusum had so many stories to share that were life lessons in themselves. Unfortunately for me, she wasn’t fond of writing blog posts.

Her favourite forms of expression were the palette knife for artworks and her beloved pen for writing poetry. Her art was a genuine reflection of her soul.

And she loved to tell me stories about her life.

As I work on compiling her book of English poems, I am seeing her as her own person and not just a mother, daughter, wife, grandmother or pet parent to the numerous pets she had over her 81years of life.

This story goes back to her time in Doha and the renewal of her diplomatic passport.

In those days, one had to give one’s occupation. That stayed fixed until the pages and extra pages in the passport were exhausted with stamps or the passport validity expired.

When an artist’s identity is reduced to a label

That day I’d come home for the lunch and siesta time and saw both my parents sitting at the dining table glumly. I knew my mother was upset about something, and my father had a serious look on his face.

Our 4 miniature dachshunds were gathered around her feet as if their touch could help my mother in some way.

It turned out that the visa official had put my mother’s occupation as housewife in her new passport.

This was despite my father having told his Personal Assistant that the occupation was supposed to be ‘artist’.

My mother had already had numerous exhibitions during their tenure in Doha.  My father was due to be transferred for another posting. The validity of the passport was 10 years which meant the occupation of housewife would last until his retirement.

Perhaps the Personal Assistant got it wrong, or the consular officer ignored it but this upset Kusum. She felt that she had been given a generic label and that all semblance of identity had been lost.

Identity is something that deserves recognition

To some, it may seem like a minor administrative matter. To Kusum, it felt as though an important part of who she was had disappeared.

Being an artist was never simply an occupation; it was how she expressed herself, how she saw the world, and how she had chosen to contribute to it. Seeing that identity replaced by a generic label was unexpectedly painful.

My father told her he would try to get it fixed. He understood how she felt and agreed that a generic label of housewife made her sound like a domestic staff and not her true identity.

When I returned home in the evening, I saw both my parents were looking at the passport and laughing. The occupation had been changed to ‘housewife of an Ambassador’.

My father was actually more upset about the new change but unfortunately, the housewife part couldn’t be removed. So, the consular officer added some status to that occupation.

In later years it became a family joke but at the time it was upsetting to both parents.

The passport saga stuck in my mind. Years later, I asked my mother about the occupation issue and what it had meant to her.

We are more than the roles we play

As my mother told me, “life invites us to wear many hats -spouse, parent, caregiver, professional, friend. These roles are meaningful, but they should never eclipse the person beneath them. I was proud to be an ambassador’s wife, but I was also an artist. One identity did not cancel out the other.”

The biggest gift you can give someone is understanding them

She told me that what made all the difference was that her husband understood why it mattered. He didn’t dismiss her feelings or suggest she was overreacting.

He recognized that this wasn’t about a passport. It was about feeling seen for who she was. That simple act of understanding became a reminder that the people who love us don’t have to solve every problem. They simply need to acknowledge what it means to us.

Looking back, I realize the passport was never the real issue.

It was merely the page on which a larger question had been written: Who am I when the world chooses the easiest label instead of the truest one?

Thankfully, Kusum shared her life with someone who understood that identities are not bestowed by official documents. They are shaped by the work we love, the lives we touch, and the person we know ourselves to be.

A thing of beauty can be a joy forever. Gift giving can be memorable with Collectors’ Items. Who wouldn’t want something unique? Especially if it is affordable artwork on a different medium?

Gift giving has always been a part of our family tradition especially during the festive season.

During my husband’s career as a diplomat, there were numerous occasions when we used to give presents.

We formed a Gift Giving Policy where the gift we were giving had to fulfill 3 conditions. Otherwise, we had to find another option.

The first rule was that the gift has to be thoughtful. We’d make a note of the person’s preferences and consider what would make them happy to receive.

The second rule was it has to be something that we ourselves would be happy to receive.

The third rule was to set a budget and stick to it!

The festive season will be starting soon in India and people will be starting their gift shopping in earnest.

Gift Tip: The one thing you need to avoid & what to do instead

Over the years I’ve noticed that a one-upmanship has emerged in certain circles where a present is to show off one’s social status instead of letting the other person know that their friendship is valued.

When a present isn’t given from the heart or received with grace, then there really isn’t any point in carrying on this tradition.

For those readers who believe in the 3 rules of Gift Giving, I have a unique idea – give an artwork or merchandise item with artwork that will be appreciated.

If you can find a limited-edition item or a special artwork, that’s even better.

If original artworks aren’t within your budget, then prints work too.

To give you an idea of what I’m recommending, take a look at some of my artworks that are available at my page on Fine Art America.

These artworks prints can be purchased not only as prints but on different mediums too, like coffee mugs, iPhone covers, shower curtains and numerous options.

Visit Pixels for more art for lifestyle options.

Here are some examples from my Garden of Memories Exhibition

How about something unique Christmas?

Check out some more unique ideas for the festive season for yourself or others with my art. Click the images to select at Pixels.

Are my gift suggestions within your budget?

I believe they are!

Especially when you use the Coupon Code SHZAUT at checkout to get 25% off from now till 31 December 2024.

Go ahead and give a present that matches my 3 Gift Giving Rules!

Use Coupon Code SHZAUT and get 25% off at checkout here. 

Updated 29 November 2024.

Memories of my Paris exhibition at Galerie Elysee Miromesnil came flooding back. I was watching the Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi being honoured at the Bastille Day celebrations this year on television.

That was 23 years ago and yet it felt like yesterday. As I reminisced about the exhibition, another memory came up – the gift of one free pizza in Paris!

This exhibition is very special for me in more ways than one. It was a learning experience about the challenges of getting a gallery to exhibit your artworks or to find patrons.

But where there is a will and faith in one’s art, doors do open. For me the door was Galerie Elysee Miromesnil.

Back in 1995, my late husband had been posted to Minsk in Belarus to open India’s first Embassy. He was the first Indian Ambassador to Belarus.

I expressed the desire to visit Paris and especially Giverny as I am an ardent fan of Monet.

After some discussion, my husband suggested I also visit some galleries and explore if I could get an exhibition of my works done. My trip to Paris was booked.

Finding a gallery to exhibit my art was far easier than said

Armed with my portfolio, I visited numerous galleries but was crestfallen when told they only exhibited famous artists or had their own artists.

At that time, I didn’t know that this is normal for galleries all over the world, including India.

Perhaps these galleries are averse to risk taking or maybe they want to make sure they get big commissions on sales. I agree that there are business considerations, but talent should also be promoted.

I had started my artist career just 6 years earlier and needed encouragement, not discouragement!

But Lady Luck favoured me when I visited rue de Miromesnil and entered Galerie Elysee Miromesnil.

The gallery owner was very kind and had a look at my portfolio.

I was offered dates which I immediately booked. The rest of my visit was spent touring museums and visited Giverny, my Mecca. I treated myself to seeing places there that I had only seen in paintings.

My exhibition took place in October 1995. The gallery owner told me that I didn’t have to sit in the gallery the whole day.

As he rightly pointed out, I was in Paris, and I should enjoy the city to the full.

The story of the free pizza.

I decided to walk around and see the sights. At lunchtime, I felt hungry and walked into a small and quaint restaurant and ordered a pizza.

After a while, I noticed that customers who had arrived after me were being served but my pizza was nowhere in sight!

I waited a little longer and then walked up to the manager and inquired about the pizza. The waiter was horrified that he had forgotten my order.

Apparently, it is quite common for people to go and sit in a restaurant without ordering anything. Perhaps he thought I was waiting for someone or just whiling away time.

In any case, a piping fresh pizza was served shortly thereafter. The restaurant refused to take payment for it. They wanted to make up for their error.

So, I got to eat a free pizza in a posh locality of Paris!

When my exhibition ended, the gallery owner gifted me a box of chocolates.

He was pleased with the way the exhibition had gone and I even received a positive review in the local papers.

The art critic had found my works interesting and noted the vibrant colours that I used with palette knives as well as my signature style.

Any artist who receives a sincere compliment is motivated to further develop their skills.

I left Paris with a sense of achievement.

Artwork from the Paris Exhibition

What I discovered about Galerie Elysee Miromesnil

Years later, I found out that the gallery owner had retired and moved to the south of France. I felt sad that I couldn’t tell him about how far I had come in my artistic journey.

But I discovered something else which has made that exhibition even more precious.

This gallery had exhibitions by many leading artists and movement creators!

There was Ernst Fuchs, an Austrian painter, draftsman, printmaker, sculptor, architect, stage designer, composer, poet, and one of the founders of the Vienna School of Fantastic Realism.

Fitzia, who was one of the most brilliant masters of collage, Gilles Marie Dupuy and France Zieseniss, the wife of the famous art historian Charles-Otto Zieseniss.

Each of these artists was famous in their field and I realized, this gallery was owned by a true connoisseur of art and talent.

He had seen a spark in me and gave me that opportunity of a lifetime without letting me know he showed stalwarts in the art field.

That encouragement helped me build a career and for that I am grateful. And for the free pizza in Paris!

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